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  • Michael Fischer Plays Would You Rather

    Michael Fischer was released from state prison in 2015 and is currently earning both a BA in Interdisciplinary Studies and an MFA in Creative Writing. He is managing editor of the literary journal Sierra Nevada Review, assistant nonfiction editor of Profane Journal, and a Moth Chicago StorySlam winner. He's been awarded the Lesley University Mani Iyer Writer Scholarship, the inaugural Emerging Writer Fellowship in Nonfiction, Memoir, & Essay from the Lighthouse Writers Workshop, and a grant from the Chicago chapter of the Awesome Foundation. In his spare time, he chases his baby niece down a hallway with a large stuffed bear. 

    ... A WICKED game of Would you Rather ... 

    1) Would you rather eat only roadkill for the rest of your life OR Have everyone else in the world sound like Gilbert Gottfried? Roadkill, no question. I mean if you get to it when it's fresh, it's not much different than the antibiotic-stuffed, feces-dwelling, inbred factory farm animals we all eat every day. Healthier, probably. As opposed to everyone sounding like Gilbert Gottfried, which isn't a world worth living in.         

    2) Would you rather always have to say everything on your mind OR Never be able to speak again?
    Never be able to speak again. Because the alternative--look, I've already been to prison once. So, yeah. No. Vow of silence. 

    3) Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day for the rest of your life OR Join in once to stop it? It says a lot about Jeremy that he could even think of a question like this. From the perspective of time management, I'd have to say join in once to stop it. Otherwise I'm losing, what, half an hour or so of every day of my life, watching joyless sex between two people who've been divorced for a decade? No. I've got shit to do. 

    Michael is performing with You're Being Ridiculous on Saturday, May 27 ... Follow this link to reserver your ticket at Uncommon Ground, Edgewater for that night's performance!