where good stories are better than good times
I snapped my head in my husband’s direction at the other end of our cozy sectional the first time I saw the trailer for Cocaine Bear. We locked eyes and our faces performed an entire ballet of disdain and disgust. This is our way. You might have guessed that from the title of this here … Continue reading JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH
Well, it finally happened. Just when we were all settling down into the deep deep joy that is the news of James Corden leaving our televisions next year (and dear god please — movie musicals too) along comes Monday to further brighten our spirits. Everyone’s least favorite cat and cringey late night chat host was … Continue reading SO LONG NIGHTTIME ELLEN
Spooky Season is really outdoing itself this year. There’s a 20-foot blowup ghost with anger issues (and flashing lights) in the yard next door, I just read Kim Kardashian had sex with Pete Davidson by a fireplace to honor her grandmother, and Madonna is terrorizing children on TikTok. If you aren’t shaking in your sweatpants … Continue reading LIFE IS A MYSTERY
Well, didn’t we know this was going to happen? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love queer people. I myself am a super queer person. I celebrate my little LGBTQ+ tribe. I read the books, I watch the movies and TV shows, I’m a subscriber and a fan. Hell, I even tried to watch … Continue reading BILLY DON’T BE A HERO
Oh dear ... Mummy has been in the ground for all of three minutes and poor Queen Prince Charles III already has her knickers in a twist. I know. I KNOW. I'm sick of these fools too. Except for the part where this one continues to step in it. I can't stop watching them pretend … Continue reading QUEEN PRINCE CHARLES THE TURD
Apparently, September is a super big month for old lady corpse. I mean I love me some QE2, but if they didn't put Mamaw in the ground this week I was going to call Child Protective Services. I know she was the queen for 70 years, but good lord she had more adventures while dead … Continue reading GOODBYE, NORMA JEANE
Deciding to watch an awards show these days is basically asking you to take your life in your own hands. It would make sense to assume an event in it's 74th year would have its act together, wouldn't it? A dazzling opening number, a cavalcade of stars, a schedule that hums along -- enjoyable, simple, … Continue reading THE SHERYL LEE RALPH AWARDS
Hello, and welcome to the very worst Tuesday of the year. Summer is over, we're supposed to be eating pumpkins, and wearing white is illegal until Memorial Day. Thems the rules, y'all. Yeah. Except meanwhile I definitely stepped out of my car at work to find some heiffer wearing THE WHITEST pants in all of … Continue reading DARLING, I AM WORRIED
by Jeremy Owens Listen, Girl. We gotta talk. Surely you got yourself in front of some HBO last night for the Sex and the City reboot. Last night. Yesterday. Whatever. Streaming is weird. ANYWAY. SURELY YOU WATCHED. I know you're way too cool and are running around telling everyone you don't care, but I'm a … Continue reading GET IN LOSER WE GOTTA GO MURDER SAMANTHA
GIRL. Looky here. You know I'd rather walk on my lips than talk about somebody, but I just -- well -- I guess I'm going to have to say a little extra prayer tonight and put a bonus shot of holy water in my vodka tonic before bed. Now. Imma need you to take a … Continue reading MAYBE SHE’S BORN WITH IT?