where good stories are better than good times
by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg Mary M Cosby is the most terrifying type of mean girl - the type that doesn’t give a shit what you think about her. And I know from middle school that you should not mess with this type of mean girl (I’m looking at you, Jillian Milne of 7th grade). She is … Continue reading MARY MARY QUITE CONTRARY
by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg If I could do it all over again, I would have gone to law school and specialized in Real Housewives fraud. Truly, I could have made a nice living representing idiots who go on national television, flaunting their conspicuous consumption, while benefiting from glaringly illegal money-making schemes. But the Housewives of Salt … Continue reading ARMED SHAH-BBERY
by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg I have seen tiny men wrestle each other on RHONJ, I have seen Mama Joyce try to fight Kandi’s best friend on RHOA, and I’ve seen Kim… be Kim on RHOBH, but hand to god, I have never seen an episode of Real Housewives that is this batshit crazy. Almost every scene … Continue reading LIFTING THE VAIL
by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg Is it just me, or do the men on RHOSLC make the men on RHONJ seem downright puritanical? First, Duy is still clinging to the idea that he needs a sister-wife who will give him seventy-five children, like something out of the damn Old Testament, without any regard for Jennie’s feelings or … Continue reading BOOB TUBE
by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg On this episode of RHOSLC, Lisa checks every Real Housewives activity cliché off of her list. First, she gets to know Whitney through silk-rope acrobatics, which is when stay-at-home moms try stripping for a day and pee a little bit when flexing. Then she gets fish pedicures with Meredith and Jenny. While … Continue reading CATERGATE
by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg Sometimes, one needs to put all this Utah drama in perspective. Like when Mary shows up at Whitney’s house with a fresh batch of cookies and a gruesome tale about how the previous night, one of her congregants’ daughter’s crashed her car, flew through her sunroof, and landed on a neighborhood 30 … Continue reading BUCKLE UP
by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg Ask for the Mormon ideal of perfection and you shall receive. In a pandemic, where everyone is on Zoom all day, there is a Botox-filled lining. No one wants to stare into a glowing screen and see their wrinkles waving back, so Heather’s Beauty Lab has grown exponentially. And have you heard? … Continue reading PROTECTING, DEFLECTING, AND TROUT
Jessica Besser-Rosenberg In the words of Jen Shah’s nephew, “This don’t make no damn sense.” Jen’s apology tour, Seth’s disgusting soul patch, Whitney’s robot sex, and Lisa’s plan to sew her own pants. NONE of it makes any sense. Or makes for a very compelling episode. But there were a few precious diamonds in the … Continue reading SPILLING SOME ICED TEA
You're Being Ridiculous 