our obsessions, shenanigans, and performers.
It’s 4am and I’m lying in bed staring at my phone. I’m here trying to breathe through the day’s existential dread and the terrible online choices of friends and family — working on minding my own business, rage whispering to my iPhone screen instead of commenting with actual text — doom scrolling my little heart … Continue reading Dear Inspirational Quote Terrorist Mary Oliver: →
by Jeremy Owens Listen, Girl. We gotta talk. Surely you got yourself in front of some HBO last night for the Sex and the City reboot. Last night. Yesterday. Whatever. Streaming is weird. ANYWAY. SURELY YOU WATCHED. I know you’re way too cool and are running around telling everyone you don’t care, but I’m a … Continue reading GET IN LOSER WE GOTTA GO MURDER SAMANTHA →
by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg Mary M Cosby is the most terrifying type of mean girl – the type that doesn’t give a shit what you think about her. And I know from middle school that you should not mess with this type of mean girl (I’m looking at you, Jillian Milne of 7th grade). She is … Continue reading MARY MARY QUITE CONTRARY →
by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg If I could do it all over again, I would have gone to law school and specialized in Real Housewives fraud. Truly, I could have made a nice living representing idiots who go on national television, flaunting their conspicuous consumption, while benefiting from glaringly illegal money-making schemes. But the Housewives of Salt … Continue reading ARMED SHAH-BBERY →
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