MARY MARY QUITE CONTRARY

by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg Mary M Cosby is the most terrifying type of mean girl - the  type that doesn’t give a shit what you think about her. And I know from middle school that you should not mess with this type of mean girl (I’m looking at you, Jillian Milne of 7th grade). She is … Continue reading MARY MARY QUITE CONTRARY

ARMED SHAH-BBERY

by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg If I could do it all over again, I would have gone to law school and specialized in Real Housewives fraud. Truly, I could have made a nice living representing idiots who go on national television, flaunting their conspicuous consumption, while benefiting from glaringly illegal money-making schemes.  But the Housewives of Salt … Continue reading ARMED SHAH-BBERY

LIFTING THE VAIL

by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg I have seen tiny men wrestle each other on RHONJ, I have seen Mama Joyce try to fight Kandi’s best friend on RHOA, and I’ve seen  Kim… be Kim on RHOBH, but hand to god, I have never seen an episode of Real Housewives that is this batshit crazy. Almost every scene … Continue reading LIFTING THE VAIL

BOOB TUBE

by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg Is it just me, or do the men on RHOSLC make the men on RHONJ seem downright puritanical? First, Duy is still clinging to the idea that he needs a sister-wife who will give him seventy-five children, like something out of the damn Old Testament, without any regard for Jennie’s feelings or … Continue reading BOOB TUBE

PROTECTING, DEFLECTING, AND TROUT

by Jessica Besser-Rosenberg Ask for the Mormon ideal of perfection and you shall receive. In a pandemic, where everyone is on Zoom all day, there is a Botox-filled lining. No one wants to stare into a glowing screen and see their wrinkles waving back, so Heather’s Beauty Lab has grown exponentially. And have you heard? … Continue reading PROTECTING, DEFLECTING, AND TROUT

AMERICAS NEXT TOP ACTIVIST

Girl. To know me is to know I love love ALL CAPS LOVE AND ADORE celebrities. I read books with Reese, I make recipes with Gwyneth, I put whatever products Oprah and Gayle are trying to make me buy on layaway. I am in it. I'm obsessed. I'm on the edge of my seat ready … Continue reading AMERICAS NEXT TOP ACTIVIST